I am delighted to share a q&a with the author today ~ thanks to Rachel’s Random Resources for organizing.
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INTERVIEW WITH RUTH GRAHAM AUTHOR OF COFFINS & CONFETTI (A Celebrant’s Memoir Of Life, Loss & Love)
Instagram @CelebrantRuthG
Link on Amazon https://tinyurl.com/55m3vzda
This is your second book – how long did it take to write?
Just over two years, which is explained by the fact I wrote it four times!
It started off as an autobiography and then moved to memoir. Then I took much of the personal element of the story (my relationship with my partner, a younger widower I met), and I turned that into romantic fiction.
But it kept nagging at me that it needed to be more exposed and real so I re-wrote the whole lot again as a memoir. That’s why it’s called Coffins & Confetti, as I wanted to write not only about the wedding side of my work, but my own experience of finding romance later in life. I’ve been very lucky!
In Coffins & Confetti, you mention quite a few previous jobs: how many have you actually had?
Well, I think it’s somewhere around 42. I’d class probably six of those as careers, and the rest were just to make ends meet.
What was your most fun job prior to writing?
I was a song selector for the Eurovision Song Contest for two years!
Just to clarify – music and song writing is in my background, so I was in the place at the right time.
Several months before the competition began I’d go home with sack loads of cassettes (yes – it was that long ago), and I’d almost pee myself laughing at what was in there. The best tonic ever! There were songs about cars, women, jobs, dogs, Krakatoa, polar bears, mental illness, cake, guitars, skiing, sex – the list goes on.
My job was to filter out the dire entries, and then forward anything half-
decent to the panel at the next level. The rejects would have made a fantastic album in their own right.
You talk about funerals in the book. Some are sad and others celebratory. What’s the most unusual funeral you’ve ever done?
There are lots discussed in the first and second book so I won’t give too much away, but there many elements that can make things different and really special.
Sometimes it’s the venue like a woodland burial ground where the peace and tranquillity is just so beautiful. Or it can be the content of the service that stands out.
For example, one lady was an artist, so she had her drawings lasered onto the coffin which was stunning. Sometimes people play an instrument or sing which is really personal.
That had been the plan for a service I did recently, but the soloist was taken ill. The client knew I used to have a band so she asked me (with 6 hour’s notice, to step in).
What she didn’t know was my band was a raucous Irish band – I was used to singing Wild Rover and things like that, but this was a jazz version of ‘Smile’ – and she wanted it acapella. I was terrified of singing in an unfamiliar style, and without any music to boot, but it meant a lot to her, so I rehearsed for several hours beforehand, and just had to go for it.
It went well but was so nerve-wracking. You do have to be prepared for the unexpected in this job!
What’s The Basic Premise Of The Book?
I wanted to write a real, honest account of the work of a celebrant. So many people have never heard of the role, although they may have seen us officiating a funeral or wedding and not realised that’s what we’re called.
The job entails so many emotions and so much humanity, as well as being utterly hilarious sometimes. I knew there was mileage in a book but then after the success of A Thousand Goodbyes, I knew there was a market for a second one.
Have You Written Other Styles Of Books Too?
Yes, but that was in the early days when I was finding my voice. Dreadful Mills & Boon type things, with awful titles like ‘No Love For Laura’. I’m not sure what I was thinking back then. I also tried to write about life on board a ship (when I was working as cruise staff). It got very bawdy, and I thought my mother would be offended, so I stopped! If she was alive today I finally think I’d have made her proud.
Book blurb:
Following the success of her first book, A Thousand Goodbyes, writer Ruth Graham invites us to join her on the next part of her journey as an Independent Civil Celebrant. She honestly believed she’d seen it all – apparently not!
Once again, we’re exposed to the best, worst (and funniest) examples of human behaviour in Ruth’s latest memoir,
Coffins & Confetti, but this time the tears and laughter are set against the poignant backdrop of the writer’s own search for true and lasting love.
Written in conversational style with trademark humour, Coffins & Confetti takes the reader on a journey encompassing the darkest corners of despair, peppered with some of the funniest true-life stories you will ever hear.
A letter to life, a memo to mortality but above all, a testament to tenacity, Coffins & Confetti is a book which oozes humanity and hope with the message that if you hang on in there long enough, things will always turn around …
Purchase Links
Author Bio –
With an eclectic background in music; acting; presenting; comedy; journalism; writing; counselling and teaching (to name just a few careers), Ruth Graham could never have guessed all the skills she’d acquired would be needed for her final role – that of funeral and wedding celebrant.
With no two days ever the same, Ruth travels all over the West Midlands to meet grieving families or happy couples, in preparation for the happiest and saddest days of peoples’ lives.
It’s a huge role, with so many expectations attached – and a lot of pressure to get things right. But as Ruth says, it’s also a huge privilege to be able to bring comfort in times of sadness, or to create something really beautiful and unique for a couple lucky enough to have found their match.
That said, in the great improv show of life, everything doesn’t always run smoothly because it involves humans at their best and worst. The result is endless amounts of material and two books to her credit so far.
The first one ‘A Thousand Goodbyes’ (The Surprising Life Of A Funeral Celebrant) garnered fantastic reviews: Hilarious Un-Putdownable /Moving/Touching/Must Read) from bloggers, industry professionals and the general public.
Ruth is hoping the same for Coffins & Confetti but either way she intends to keep working as a celebrant knowing she’s making a real difference to others’ lives.
Social Media Links –
Instagram: @ https://www.instagram.com/Celebrantruthg/
Twitter @CelebrantRuthG
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Bravo Ruth Graham for your splendid book, which I finished yesterday. Just a marvellous read. Having read your first book, I had high expectations which not juts met but exceeded. This fascinating and easy-to-read book made me smile, cry (hadn’t expected that) and laugh out loud until I cried. My neighbours must have wondered what was going on. It really gave me food for thought by tackling a subject that so many of us avoid speaking about, let alone planning for. A thoroughly well-written, entertaining, lovely, sensitive book. Long live love! I highly recommend it but plan wisely because you won’t be able to put it down. Well done.
So glad you enjoyed it, Lesley!